Tag Archives: fear

They, Each, We, and I

 

Such a time as this: #MeToo

Such a surprise.

Such a day I could not fathom as ever coming.

Such a thing so incredible to see

and hear and read about.

 

They are older now.

Both women and men.

They now tell their stories

after so much time has long passed.

 

Each had felt the shock.

Each had felt the fear.

Each had felt the shame.

Each had been powerless.

 

Each had hidden those moments.

Those times.

Those long, long seconds in time.

 

Many had tried to find a place.

Maybe a real place.

Maybe a place they had been in

only in their minds.

 

Somewhere to somehow rest.

Somewhere to somehow be in safety.

 

Will it happen again?

Will it happen today?

Will someone not help?

Their minds ask over and over again.

Their mind’s constant agony.

 

I must hurry to hide.

I must hurry.

But no door will keep me safe, I know.

Not even a locked one.

God help me, the door does not lock.

 

Days have turned into years.

Years have turned into more years.

A poor memory has become a blessing.

An even poorer one is much longed for.

 

We all have our stories.

We all have our hardships.

We all have our pains.

 

No family can bring me comfort.

No person can bring me comfort.

Only God can help me.

Because He has always helped me.

Each and every time.

 

In darkness, He had comforted me.

In silence, He had sat with me.

 

God continues to pull me through.

He continues to give me hope.

He continues to show His love for me.

He continues to help me to live again.

 

 

“For I have given rest to the weary

and joy to the sorrowing.”

 

~ Jeremiah 31:25

 

 

 

 

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fears in the morn

 

It’s really sumthin’ how the verses in the Bible are applicable to one’s life, even today.  Considering that they were written years upon years ago, oh how God has blessed us with such a tool to have.

Many of us have more than one.  I read somewhere about how just about every home in America had a Bible.  For myself, I have more than 3.  So with that being the case, I most definitely should be reading way more than I do.  For that reason, I thank God that He still gives me blessed reminders in His Word, even when I just open up the pages to read the day’s devotional pages.

Yesterday, the verse that I couldn’t help but to keep reading over and over again was in 2 Corinthians 7:5.

“When we arrived…there was no rest for us.  We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.”

Many times in my life, I pray to ask God why I’m having to go through a particular trouble again.  Family arguments, car troubles, financial troubles, work place hardship, and times when I’ve felt I’ve been wronged, cheated, or spoken and treated rudely to.  Too often, I forget to remind myself of the lesson that I’m having to remind myself of over and over again by reading God’s Word: that God helps us through our troubles, instead of just taking them away.

 

Reading that verse in 2 Corinthians reminded me of how even the Apostle Paul, (God’s “super-messenger” to His people by writing and preaching most of the New Testament in the Bible) had himself unrestful days, had such major problems, that they were happening to him from every direction.  And to top it all off, he too had what we all have: fear on the inside.  Yup, that dagnabbit thing called fear.

 

 

I read somewhere about how the most things folks fear about might happen in their lives never actually ever happen.  They just end up being fearful thoughts running through their minds and causing unnecessary worryful heavy dread in their heads.

In our family business, I’m the first one to get to our shop in order to begin prepping up the things that need to be prepped for the day.  Depending on the amount of customer orders we have, I go to our shop between the hours of 1:00 am and 4:00 am.  Our shop unit is within a building that has other businesses on both sides of it.  Some of those businesses are bars or restaurants that run as bars during the evenings.  So when I’m parking my vehicle outside our building, there’d be a buncha cars and folks kinda huddled together on one side.  Who knows what’s going on there, but I ain’t gonna stare to see.

Because I’d like to get into my business unit safely in one piece, I park right in front of the door.  Then I open up that front door as fast as I can.  Considering that it’s during the hours when it’s still dark outside and there’s no street lights to brighten up the parking lot or anything, it’s not always easy for me to get that front door locked again right away from the inside.  Sometimes I feel like I’m running too many seconds too long, as I’m trying to get the key inside the key hole.  Yes, I admit that I honestly feel like I’m kinda in a horror film and I’m tryin’ to get myself locked safely indoors before a buncha gory zombies come bang on the door to chow me up.

As soon as I’ve got the front door locked, I turn on the back room lights.  That’s where I need to do all our prepping.  The lights from there (about 6 of those long bulbs) are bright enough for me to see the front section of our unit.  So turning on the front lights is not needed, which is good, so that any folks lookin’ in won’t be able to see that well, that I’m workin’ in there by myself.

The next thing I have to do is to turn on our water from the back of our unit.  The problem is that there’s no light back there.  None.  Unless there’s a bright moon, then it’s pitch dark back there.  So needless to say, that’s when that dagnabbit thing called fear comes back to creep up and flare within my insides once again.

Right before I open up that back door, I say a prayer for God to protect me.  Then I turn on my flashlight and step outside.  Because there’s 2 big locks that hold the door shut, I make a big slamming sound in order to hopefully scare off any bandits back there.  Cuz hey, even bandit thugs can be afraid of the dark too, right?  So I slam my way out to the back.  Bang-bang!, I slam the door and the screen door.  Then I try to walk nonchalantly to the water control thingy on the wall, turn it on, and walk back calmly back to the door.  As soon as I slam the door back shut again from the inside, I give out a big sigh of relief, turn my flashlight back off, and begin the day’s prep work.  This is my daily routine and those are my 2 big fear times in the early morn.

 

 

I praise God that He has been with me and has given me safety each morning for the past 2 years that we’ve been running this family business of ours.  As I was reading that verse about Paul’s troubles and fear, it was the very next verse that always gives me joy to see.

“But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us…”

Oh yes, it is God who gives us safety, peace of mind, and joy again.