the perfect amount of grace

 

After this life on earth

Oh, how much I do yearn

To one day become the person whom I have always dreamed to be

A person with confidence!

 

But all I can see is my bitter woes

All I can ever think about is of my many, many failures

Why are there so many?

Oh, how I long to no longer be thoughtless and ignorant!

Oh, how I long to no longer be angry, vengeful, and bitter!

 

Daily, I am enraged

Daily, I accumulate more bitter moments

Can there ever be relief from these many overflowing and unforgettable memories of hatred and failures?

 

Like Jonah, I have pleaded for You to allow for me to leave

“Take me now, Lord!  Take me now…”

But still, I remain

 

Like Solomon had said, “All is vanity…”

For years, all I had was cheap, glittering costume jewelry

Pennies I had picked up, collected, and hoarded

And like those stepped-on and runned-over pennies, I too, have become battered, dirty, and rusty

 

Your Word says that You will ask me what I have done with this life that You have given to me, Lord

I cannot answer You, Lord

I cannot answer

For I have gained and produced nothing

I too, may say to You as well, “Look at my seashells, Lord.  Look at my collected and worthless seashells…”

 

I know that You’ve said we can never have peace on this earth, Lord

I know it full well

So I plead and pray to You, Lord

For just the perfect amount of grace that You know I need

For each day

For each angry and bitter day

 

Thank You for the new colors of butterflies, Lord

Thank You for the flowers that have grown

Thank You for helping me to endure this day, Lord

And another birthday

 

 

“Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead…”

The Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?”

 

~ Jonah 4:3-4

 

6
artist:  John Atkinson Grimshaw

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “the perfect amount of grace

  1. So beautiful, Ekuries comment up above is right…God still has beautiful plans for you and he is always near you because he shows you signs everyday, those little gifts that tell you, you are loved…the butterflies, the flowers, the smiles from a stranger. Great post, thanks for sharing.

shoot yo holla hea

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