Everyone has the same 24 hours each day, but how come some days seem to go faster than others? Guess it depends on how many tasks we can get accomplished within that day. Or how much we don’t, which can stress us out as we crawl into bed at the end of another too-short day.
Today again, depression had wanted to take over my mind. One of the topics in the Bible that often bothered me is the one on the “gifts” that the Apostle Paul talks about. He lists them even. But how come none of them seem to pertain to me? Maybe they’re just not being listed as “understandable” gifts for simple-minded folks like me to be able to understand?
I’m certain I’m wrong on that. I probably just need to hear those verses being explained in a modern day-like message for my simple mind. You know, how some preachers can really bring out an old passage in the Bible and make it relate to this day and age?
Like how some preachers can give a different insight to “The Woman at the Well”, “The Good Samaritan”, and “The Prodigal Son” stories? I just love how there can be a different kinda take to those much-wornly-told classic Bible stories.
It’s often preached that every single person in the whole wide world has got a gift. At least one – if not more than one.
But here I am, wondering why I don’t got any of those listed. And wishing there was a 2nd page or pages to that list.
There are countless Bible messages about the plan God has for our lives. About how we are uniquely created by Him to accomplish something(s) in particular during our lifetime on this earth. I often think about what those “things I’m supposed to do while here” might be.
And then of course, I then ask the question He must hear so often again and again from many of us, “Did you forget me, God? So what am I supposed to be doing – can You say exactly? Did it not happen yet? Because it would very much help to have a sign. Like maybe a billboard of an occupation, a plan, or perhaps a destination would help. Because I don’t know…”
But life goes on. And the wondering continues.
Maybe I might be confusing the word “talents” with “gifts”. Maybe. Because it’s definitely in the category of “talents” that I lack in. It’s bothersome when folks look at me being an Asian person and think I’m good at Math. Like I’m supposed to be a walking calculator. What a joke. Considering that here I am in my mid-40s, and I was so sure that 25 times 5 equaled 100 just last month…
So my non-discovery of my gift is one of the things I often ponder about when I get all woeful about myself and my life. You know, those days when you’re incredibly busy trying to get a task accomplished and it’s gotta be real quiet as you’re trying to finish it quickly, whatever it is. But all that quietness makes thoughts go berserk within your mind. So many thoughts and tasks start coming in, of all the things you’ve gotta do after you’ve finished doing that one! Sigh.
Some days ago, I had told a couple of other Soldiers in my unit about what I had answered to a past unit’s First Sergeant, when he had asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. First off, I had told them about how I just hated being asked that question, period. Seems like such an old question. So un-unique. So vague.
Then I told them what I had honestly answered to that guy, who was very taken aback by it. “In five years? Dead, from a car accident. Because I’m a very bad driver. It’s a miracle I’m still alive today, First Sergeant.”
That was my answer to him. Then he sort of changed the topic to be about something else. How odd that he would ask such a “boring and common” question and not expect to receive an honest answer, although it might have been a slightly shocking one.
Especially with the number of suicides in the Army sadly being a continually growing number. Thought he might have been more prepared to give some kind of counsel. At least a listening ear.
So whenever I hear a message being told about the day when I am going to be standing before God after I’ve died, I think about how I might have the courage to ask Him, “Lord, what gift did I actually have?” And because He is a graciously good God, He will let me know.
Ah, life. It goes too slow, then it goes too fast. Seconds tick when waiting, but months seem to have flown by at the end of another year. It is in His daily-given new mercies, that I have hope.
Please drive safely and have yourselves a wonderfully goodnight, y’all!