illustration by Francesca Assirelli


~ quotes by Erma Bombeck


Never have more children than you have car windows.


Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.


If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.


One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.


I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.


Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  It’s too controversial.


All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage.  Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.


Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way into society.  We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went of out business twenty years ago.


My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.  No one else cares.  Why should you?


When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”.


illlustration by Jessica Donnan




3 thoughts on “Erma

  1. momlifewithchiari

    Love this! So my car has 8 windows and I have 6 kids, technically I’m good then – that or I’m 2 kids short now?! 😆🤷🏽‍♀️😊🧡 Great quotes.


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